2 really massively significant things that my partner did this week that really fucked me off, made me feel every gammit of shit that I am and made me question our entire life planned relationship for serious. No matter how in love with him I am.
You’d think that’s the answer to the puzzling equationy title, but no!
Meh + grrr + naaaaw + sniff + umm =
More fucked off because I was mullin last nights issue over and I thought well, Ive tried with him, I don’t wanna put our personal issues public, who does that!? He has double standards and is allowed to speak his best mates Bout wat to do, but should I mention I’m conflicted and need to talk to a mate? Yeah nah we don’t do that.
So I thought I’d get it out here, on the way out the door with my phone after I grabbed a ciggie, I thought ooh I might grab the pack just in case this post takes ages for me to actually write. Wouldn’t yA know it! I completely fucking forgot what last nights issue was! It was the most significant thing I needed to get off my chest cause it was the 2nd game changer this week!
I mean this fella is hard work also, like u wouldn’t believe but we’re like the characters in unbreakable. I’m Samuel l Jackson and he is Bruce Willis (well from the ears up I always say) we just exist and are madly in love.
So for me to think game changer after everything I have let him put on me, Yep u heard it put on me and put on me and put on me. I put up with it because a) I love him b) sometimes it’s fun to toy with him, he’ll debate it but I am smarter and wiser than plus I it really is fun to toy with him and c) it’s been 9 months now of him knowing my disorder and the last 4 months having to deal with the seemingly quick escalation. He is still here because he loves me.
Now what the fuck kind of disorder can suddenly make something sooooo significant to actually potentially want break up for really this time, suddenly disappear?!?! It’s fascinating but fuck my life.
Nothin left of the issue but the feelin that there was an issue, now I’ll fuckin analyse everything he does and it will drive me to full fucktard cunt of a thing that I am in 5 seconds. Fuck. I hope I don’t remember. I dunno what’s worse now.